Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

My husband says I’m a marketer’s dream.  (Guess it’s a good thing I married someone in advertising then, huh?)  I’m a total impulse buyer and can be so easily swayed by the so-called “promises” of a product.  Perhaps that’s why I was swept right up into the whole hoopla of the Keratin hair straightening craze.  (And by the way, to my guy readers?  Please don’t necessarily feel like you have to do an about-face on this very “girly” blog post — I may or may not include talk of beer and strippers later on, so hang tight.)

Since I have naturally wavy hair that takes FOR-FREAKING-EVER to blowdry straight, my hairdresser thought I’d be the perfect candidate for this “amazing” Keratin treatment that takes the major wave and frizz out of the hair, thereby making it much easier to style.  After several months of hemming and hawing about it, she finally talked me into doing it.  So, given that it costs a hefty $350, I then finagled my husband into getting it for my birthday in April.

**boobs, beer, strippers, boobs, beer, strippers** (had to throw that in there for the guy readers….)

     At first, I L-O-V-E-D the results.  I could whip my hair into shape like I was frickin’ Ken Paves.  No more everyday ponytails for this chicky!  I was lettin’ it down on a daily basis because my hair and I had finally grown to like each other again.  We were like newlyweds, and I just couldn’t keep my hands off it.  However, as with most marriages, the honeymoon period was very short-lived.  Not even two and a half months after forking over all that dough and the damn thing was all but gone from my frickin’ hair.  Talk about a buzz kill!

**boobs, beer strippers, boobs, beer, strippers** (You still with me, guy readers??  Come on, now, stick with me!)

     And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I also began to lose ridiculous amounts of hair each time I actually shampooed.  Thank the Lord that I have a shit-ton of hair to begin with or else I’d most definitely look like Telly Savalas by now — who loves ya kid?  Seriously, we’re talkin’ about SCARY amounts of hair left in the drain.  Makes me wonder just what in the crap kind of chemicals have been caked on my friggin’ hair.

     Needless to say, I will NOT be going for Round 2 of the Keratin treatment.  In my honest opinion, it was a total freakin’ waste of money.  And yes, I’m sending out a big “Sorry, Honey” to my husband for throwing away his hard-earned Benjamins on something that was so fleeting.  Perhaps he would’ve been more rewarded spending his money on boobs, beer & strippers???

Cut It Out!

cool-cartoon-747317     I had to take my kids for haircuts yesterday, which were long overdue.  We always go to one of those salons for kids, you know, where they sell boatloads of toys to terrorize and torture parents into buying them as bribes.  Anything to keep a kid from throwing a fit! Luckily for me, my kids have always been completely fine with getting their hair cut and have never once put up a fight. (However, that’s not to say I haven’t been suckered into wasting money on a random toy or two along the way.)

     When the kids were younger, my husband used to be the one to cut my son’s hair.  The poor child is a victim of a head full of cowlicks, so he is usually sporting a very cute buzz cut.  My husband used to do an o.k. job trimming him up here at home, but then I started noticing that my son had random long hairs here and there about his head.  Plus, I hated having to clean up all the hairs from the chair and floor afterwards.  I eventually fired my husband’s services, and now, my son joins my daughter at the foo-foo kids’ salon.  He loves it, because he can play Spongebob Nintendo games the entire time he’s getting groomed.

     My daughter has an amazing head of thick hair, so she has been going to the salon since she was two.  We keep it in a short bob, which needs maintenance about every five to six weeks.  It’s not the easiest style to cut, because you have to have a very steady hand to keep it from being uneven. On occasion, we’ve gotten all the way home to realize that it’s completely lopsided.  We’ve had to get back in the car and drive all the way back to the salon, which is a total pain in the ass. My daughter has also been blessed with the most gorgeous highlights that I’d give anything to have myself.  She just loves to tell people that God gave her highlights, and Mama has to pay for hers. Awesome, but true!  She has definitely got some good hair, and the stylists are always trying to do funky things with it after a trim. Yesterday, I gave in and let her have some kind of glitter crap sprayed in it.  Of course, we now have glitter strung about our house everywhere as a result.

     I must say that I have to give props to those kid stylists.  We have been in there many times and witnessed other kids put up a knock-down, drag-out fight prior to getting a haircut.  And then, once they are finally transferred to the super cool little cars that serve as styling chairs, they wiggle and flail around like fish out of water.  But, somehow, those ladies seem to be able to keep calm, cool, and collected enough to trim up the little devils in a timely fashion.  I thank my lucky stars that my kids have never put me or any of those stylists through that kind of madness.  Guess you’ve gotta be grateful for the little things in life sometimes.  

     How do your kids react to a visit to the barber shop or salon?  Do you have to bribe them with candy or toys to get business conducted? Is a glass of wine a standard requirement for you afterwards?