Croc of Crap

07252008_crocs¬†¬† ¬†My kids absolutely LOVE to wear their Crocs. ¬†They are all about a shoe that they can just slip on their feet and run out the door. ¬†And since we are ALWAYS late for everything, any time we can shave off the whole process of packing up to go somewhere is very much welcomed. ¬†The kids aren’t allowed to wear them to school for safety reasons, so this summer, they have worn the absolute hell out of them. ¬†

¬†¬† ¬† When I first started buying Crocs for my kids, I made the stupid mistake of getting roped into buying those little doo-dads that go in the holes. Naturally, my kids wanted to be like all their friends and have their entire shoes covered with these decorative little pieces of crap. ¬†At a $1.50 to $3.00 a pop, I must’ve spent a small fortune on doo-dads, only to have them fall out within a week and be lost forever. ¬†I recall one time on the beach when my daughter lost her favorite doo-dad, and we were on hands and knees sifting through sand to try to find the freaking thing. ¬†I’m pretty sure that was when I drew the line and professed to never buy doo-dads again. ¬†Total waste of money! ¬†

¬†¬† ¬† My other complaint with Crocs is the way my kids’ feet look when they take them off after a long day at camp or even after just playing in the backyard. ¬†They often look as if they’ve been using their feet as spatulas to make mud pancakes. ¬†I’m talking toenails crammed with dirt and jet black heels that leave footprints wherever they walk. ¬†I have seen other kids’ feet after wearing Crocs, and they aren’t even a fraction as dirty as my kids, which makes me wonder what in God’s name my children are doing in theirs! ¬†People often gasp when my twins remove their shoes, and then I feel the need to explain that I really do bathe them! ¬†We stopped by a friends’ house the other day (who just so happened to have WHITE carpeting), and my kids actually had to slip on socks over their dirt-caked feet in order to go inside. It was a little embarrassing, I must say.

¬†¬† ¬† I have spent an endless amount of time scrubbing the aftermath of this oh-so-convenient style of footwear. ¬†I often ask myself if these holey slip-ons are making my life easier or just more difficult. ¬†Yes, it gets us out the door more quickly, but it also gives me yet another mess to clean up later on. And we all know how much I enjoy messes…<insert sarcasm>.

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Oh, Snap!

     Since yesterday was yet another gorgeous day here, I took the kids over to the beach after school to meet some of their friends.  We live in the Great Lakes area and are very fortunate to have a huge, beautiful beach just five minutes from our house.  My out of town friends are always surprised when we take them to our beach because it truly is like a Florida beach.  We practically live at this beach in the summer because we are all secretly beach bums.  

¬†¬† ¬† The outside temperature yesterday was a perfect eighty-five degrees, with nothing but sun and blue skies overhead. ¬†The sand was even hot under your feet. ¬†The water temperature, though, was quite another story. ¬†It was flat-out, freaking C-O-L-D!!!! ¬†The other moms and I wouldn’t even let our kids get in the water because it was so flipping chilly. ¬†So, it was nothing short of an “Oh, snap!” moment when my daughter’s little friend’s favorite bucket got swept away and ended up about a half mile away from the shore.

¬†¬† ¬† Now, in my head, I was thinking how much that sucks that the bucket was gone. ¬†Even though the little girl was clearly upset, you couldn’t have paid me to drag my ass through that freezing water to fetch a damn plastic bucket. ¬†This little girl’s mother, though, immediately whipped her skirt off and started out after the bucket. ¬†I told her that she deserved the Mother of the Year award without a doubt — I mean, we’re talking about wading through fifty-five degree water in a bikini! ¬†Unfortunately, though, the bucket had sunk by the time she got all the way out there. ¬†I felt so bad for the mom, whose chattering teeth and pissed-off look said it all when she got back to the shore. ¬†She admitted that it wasn’t worth it in the end.

¬†¬† ¬† And just as I was saying how she’s a better mom than me for going in after it, I looked up to see my son’s Croc floating away in the lake, as well. Son of a bitch! ¬†A shoe is a bit more essential than a bucket, so I, too, was then forced to drag my bikini-clad derriere into that frigid water. ¬†Luckily, I was able to retrieve the shoe, but I had to spend some time thawing out once I got back to the beach. ¬†It was seriously like an ice bath in that lake! ¬†We then moved EVERYTHING we brought to the beach far, far away from the water. ¬†No one was going back in, unless an actual person was floating away. ¬†Oh, the things we mothers do for our kids….

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