Bad Dog

I gotta tell ya that it was pretty darned nice to have a small little break from the demon dog over this past weekend.  Luckily, our neighbors are always more than willing to have him stay with them when we go out of town.  For some reason that I have yet to determine, they seem to absolutely love the big, furry bastard.  They’ve owned many an Airedale in their time, so I suppose they’re used to all the shit-eating trouble these dogs tend to find themselves in.  And the beast is happier than a stay-at-home-mom at happy hour when he gets to shack up with the neighbors, too.  Perhaps, then, that’s why he’s decided to raise all kinds of hell now that he’s been forced back onto his own home turf.

From the moment the pooch stepped through the door, he’s made it his mission in life to annoy the absolute crap out of me.  Seriously, I didn’t think it was possible for a dog to bark this freaking much.  A leaf blows on a tree, and he has a damn hissy fit.  A fly buzzes by the window, and he goes flippin’ apeshit.  Can you really blame me then for fantasizing about all the things I could do with a good roll of duct tape?

The barking is one thing, but the chewing is a whole other issue.  And he decided to really go for the gusto too.  The ball-less wonder has taken it upon himself to chew the ever-loving shit out of my favorite pair of Ugg slippers.  We’re talkin’ down to the inner makings of the sole kind of chewing.  He also tore into one of the hubby’s beloved Cubs hats, too.  I’m sure that will make for a really nice welcome home present for him later this week when he finally returns.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about marching the dog right on over to the neighbor’s front doorstep over the past couple of days.  He knows just how to get under your skin and make you want to trade him in for some firewood.  That is…until you see him all curled up like this:

And your cold steal heart can’t help but melt just a lil’ bit…..


8 Responses

  1. I’m a cat person myself. Less chewing.

  2. him? oh, he looks far to sweet to chew and bark and annoy you….ok, not really. I’m just not a dog person. Cats are so much easier.

  3. we have a lab. she loves to chew. luckily my hunny works at a butcher shop so he gets free beef bones. she has destroyed my fave pair of stiletto heals hunny’s work shoes a laundry basket and carpet. all chewed so we had to look for what was missing to figure out what it was. never mind that she has almost pulled our deck apart completely in 3 weeks. im starting to want a cat.

  4. I feel your pain. Literally. Beaux destroyed an entire set of new pillows yesterday. Then fell asleep amongst the stuffing.

  5. You’re much more understanding than me. After that first picture, the dog would have been living somewhere else. Immediately.

    • Haha! That 1st picture wasn’t actually MY dog — I’d die if my dog did that! (Although he’s definitely done some major damage around here….)

  6. Have you tried a squirt bottle to stop the barking? Our rescue lab barked when we first got him and it worked like a charm. If you haven’t heard of this, fill a spray bottle with water and turn the nozzle to “stream”. When he barks, shoot him in the butt with the water – it distracts him from whatever is making him bark and it’s irritating to him….soon he will figure out that barking means he will get a shot in the butt!

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