Driving with my Eyes Closed

If I could bottle up and sell my amazingly crystal clear hindsight ability, I would be one rich mama.  Case in point?  This past weekend.  Am I really able to pretend like I’m still a 21 year old college kid for two straight nights in a row?  Not so much.  And should I really try to make a 6+ hour road trip on little to no sleep at all?  Probably not.  And is it a really good idea to take a Benadryl the night before taking said 6+ hour road trip?  Yeah, you get the picture.  It’s all much easier to see the stupidity in such decision making after the fact.

Over the weekend, I had the chance to get away from my motherly duties and hang out with some long-time friends from my hometown in Indiana.  And to say that I had fun would be a complete understatement, since I had SO much fun that I forgot all about the importance of sleep.  By Sunday, I was draggin’ some serious ass, not to mention suffering from a vicious allergy attack.  So before turning in for the night, I decided to pop a Benadryl in the hopes of waking up the next morning able to breathe more clearly for the long drive back to Chicago.  (HUGE mistake!)

I felt fairly decent when I woke up, but I still made sure to grab a Diet Coke for some extra go-go juice just in case.  I had my tunes, I had my caffeine, and I was ready to roll.  Unfortunately, though, neither of these made a lick of difference because I hadn’t been on the road for more than an hour before I started to completely zone out.  Holy shitcakes — I was nodding off on the frickin’ highway!  I wiggled my head, I smacked my face, and I guzzled my Diet Coke, but nothing was snapping me out of my haze.  I was certain that I was gonna end up in a ditch if I didn’t pull off the road.

So I found the nearest gas station and pulled into the parking lot.  I figured I’d just try to shut my eyes for a few little minutes and see if a quick cat nap helped at all.  I’d been dozing for probably five or so minutes before my phone rang and woke me up.  And as I answered my phone, I noticed a very perplexed truck driver staring intensely at me through the window.  I’m sure he was wondering if I was dead or cracked out on drugs cause who the hell sleeps in a gas station parking lot?  Nevertheless, though, the tiny little shut-eye actually helped get me back on track, so I set out once again on the long journey home.

And even though I wasn’t technically asleep, I guess I was still pretty out of it.  I discovered this when I decided to stop and pick up a sandwich for lunch.  So I walked into what I thought was a sub place, only to discover that I was actually in an Army recruitment office.  Oops!  Not exactly what I had in mind for my mid-day meal since I certainly didn’t feel like being all I could be.  (To my defense though, this particular Jimmy John’s was in a damn strip mall, which I despise.  I mean, seriously, all the stores look the same — do they not?!)

Surprisingly, by nothing short of a sheer miracle, I somehow made it back home in one piece without harming myself or anyone else in the process.  My super fun weekend definitely came with a high price cause I will be playing catch up now for a good solid week.  It seems that I don’t snap back like I used to < ahem >.  Despite the extra long recovery process, though, it was absolutely worth every sleepless minute of it.  Every mama needs time to recharge her batteries and feel like a person again.

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12 Responses

  1. I haven’t snapped back well in a long time. My elasticity is saggy, just like the rest of me. Glad you made it home safe. And didn’t sign up in your stupor…

    • Yeah, can you imagine if I would’ve signed myself up for that? Yikes! I have enough battles to fight around here as it is!

  2. The Army recruitment office? Priceless, really. Thanks for the laugh, I truly needed one this morning.

    • Yep, the Army recruitment office — doesn’t that sound like something nucking futty that I’d do?!

  3. glad you made it home safe and sound.. i agree every mama needs a break! glad you got one and enjoyed it! 🙂

    ps. at least you didnt walk into the mens restroom or something like that… (i did that once at a movie theater… and i wasnt even tired or anything.. i just wasnt paying attention!)

    • I’ve totally done the men’s restroom thing too! I swear I need a personal tour guide through life to keep me on track. 🙂

  4. I wrecked a car by being too tired to drive. I was falling asleep behind the wheel when next thing I know, I’m driving up and over a major curb. This wasn’t a small dainty little curb either. I completely shredded 2 tires, bent the rims and destroyed the alignment. That what we know of for sure. Lord knows what else I did to the underside of the car. Luckily it was the final push we needed to junk the car and buy the mini van we’d been needing. BTW, I’m not allowed to drive the mini van thanks to what I did to the car.

    • Yikes! That is really scary! Thank God you were ok & not hurt! That’s what I was worried about since I was driving on a curvy, country highway. Being wrapped around a tree trunk isn’t really how I wanted to end my weekend getaway.

  5. I’m glad you got a chance to get out and have some Non-Momma fun! And very glad you made it home safely!

    It sure gets harder to “recover” as we get older, doesn’t it? Dammit all anyway!

    • Yes, I’m certainly not finding too much that’s good about getting older! When does the fun begin?

  6. Oh, wow. Definitely glad for the fun, and even more glad to know you made it home safely! I’ve been there, zoning out while driving. Note: driving through Montana and Utah are notorious for putting me to sleep. Just in case we ever meet up and go on a road trip. I need some serious caffeine. Except there’s not a single gas station in Utah with coffee that *doesn’t* taste like dirt. Worse than dirt. Don’t try to get coffee in Utah.

    • Duly noted — luckily, I don’t drink coffee so that won’t be a problem on our road trip to Utah some day. However, I am a HUGE fan of Diet Coke, so hopefully those gas stations stock that at least.

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