This Is What It’s All About

For weeks now, my twins have been trying to kill me. They pop up out of nowhere LONG after I think they must be sound asleep at night and scare the living beejesus out of me. I kid you not, I’ve literally almost passed out from the shock of a little body appearing on the staircase when I least expect it.

And for the friggin’ life of me, I can’t understand why these children aren’t dragging ass by the time bedtime rolls around. I mean, good Lord, I’m practically crawling from room to room by that point in the day — how can they possibly be bouncing off every damn wall in the house? Are they snorting pixie sticks behind my back or something? And it certainly doesn’t help that they each have their own little angles they try and work to delay their much needed zzz’s for as long as they possibly can.

The daughter’s shtick is that she “just can’t go to sleep“. (Horseshit, I know.) We’re constantly walking her back to her bed and suggesting that she count sheep or sing a song or count backwards from 100. She moans and she groans until she finally just wears herself out.

And then there’s my son who always claims to have the late night munchies every stinkinnight. If he were a teenager, I swear I’d be ripping apart his room to search for his hidden stash of pot. But given the fact that he’s only seven, we’ve figured out that this is simply his version of a stall tactic. The little dude’s figured out that this excuse makes us second guess our parenting skills and wonder if the child’s getting enough to eat in order to grow. (Pretty smart, actually.) Unfortunately, though, he wore this thing out WEEKS ago, and we’re not buying what he’s selling anymore.

The frustration over this nighttime circus routine has been building now for a while, and last night, when the anti-sleep games had reached an all-time annoying high, I was two steps away from pulling out the old duct tape and making damn good and sure everyone stayed in their mother flippin’ beds. My legs had had it with going up and down the stairs to tuck people back into their rightful places. The steam was pouring out my ears as I made one final trek to the second floor to really light a fire under someone’s ass. I was just about to go ape-shit when my eyes fell upon this sign hanging outside my son’s bedroom door:

And just like that, my heart melted into a thousand tiny little pieces.


17 Responses

  1. Kids are good for that, aren’t they?

    Just like husbands! LOL

    • Yep, never a dull moment! They sure know how to make me appreciate the little things…. 🙂

  2. Man, do they know how to play you. 🙂 My daughter too, she knows EXACTLY the right time to give me a hug to diffuse an escalating situation.

    • Even if he was just sucking up, it TOTALLY worked! The little turkey knows the shortcut to my heart — that’s for sure! 🙂

  3. Isn’t that amazing!! It’s always the little things that make you fall in love with them all over again even if you weren’t out of love with them.

    Bless ’em.

    That gets them out of last nights walk-a-bouts… hope they stay in bed soon!


    • Yes, it was amazing! Being a parent has made me fully appreciate the little things in life. Speaking of which, now where’s that duct tape…. 😉

  4. I love that. Love that so much that I’m jealous. My son ( 7 as well) has at least 3 things a night. Hunger, Leg cramps, and just not tired disease. I get no sweet note on thor door but it’s good to know that I’m not the only one. Note to self: buy son hanging wipe board and demand he use it writing me notes.

    • Haha! Sometimes they just need a little hint or a gentle push or hell, even a good shove in the right direction. I think purchasing said dry erase board is a really good start…. 😉

  5. Adorable! And well-deserved, I’m sure. You’re definitely doing something right in that you’ve raising a sweet, thoughtful boy (even tho it only shows occasionally!).
    My daughter tends to come up behind me and hug me around my waist right when I’m about to totally lose it. Sometimes their radar is right on track.

    • I love those little hugs from behind too! Wish I could bottle those up & bust ’em open when they’re evil, hormonal teenagers…. 🙂

  6. God love that the child even knows how to spell…I think my 8 year old would have still forgotten an “e” …

  7. Hmmm. It must be spring…my daughter hasn’t wanted to sleep in week.

  8. This post makes me thank god I don’t have any stairs. And now I can’t wait until my little guy learns to write…

    • It’s really pretty cool when they learn how to write you notes. My heart has melted about a 1000 x’s over with the cute little notes my kids have written me. 🙂

  9. My first reaction was “Sucka!” but then my soft side came out I melted too.

    I just need to see my daughter laugh and I’m over all the whining and loss of MY time.

    • Kids have a way of doing that, don’t they? It’s hard to stay mad or in a bad mood for too long. Wish adults had that kind of power….

  10. gotta love kids that sign is just way to cute

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