Things I’ve Learned This Week

** It’s not a good idea to go for a run after a Brazilian bikini wax. You should just trust me on this.

** Kids need to eat every day.  Who knew?

** I’ve forgotten which way is up and which way is down.

** Mother Nature is having a jolly old time screwing with those of us who thought it was actually Spring.

** Avocados rock my world.

** I am a human coat rack, according to my kids anyway.

** The bags under my eyes have taken up permanent residence & will now be referred to as Lucy & Ethel.

** Diet Coke is my co-pilot.

** Douchebags are just crawling outta the woodworks.  The latest?  Steven Seagal.

** My dog prefers thong underwear (to eat, not to wear).

** I will soon be pancake pavement since NOBODY wants to stop for pedestrians anymore.

** Smoke alarm batteries die at approximately 3:33 a.m.

** My son may be the longest story teller in the history of story tellers.

** There’s a wocket in my pocket.

** I will never speak true Starbucks lingo.

** “F’ing-A” is my go-to phrase when I stub my toe.

** I need to win the lottery. Like now.

** Scotch tape disappears as quickly in my house as wine.

** I am apparently not smarter than a first grader.

** Goldfish crackers are best enjoyed in the nude.

** Getting off a mountain bike is definitely not one of my strengths. (See black & blue left kneecap).

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

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102 Responses

  1. My friday just got better! Thanks!

  2. My kids have decided that I’m an alien since I don’t really get hungry the way most people do. Their favorite thing to say when they’re hungry is, “Remember, Mom, HUMANS need to eat.”

  3. I missed eating avocado.. LoL.. and I think every one wants to win the lottery.. hahaha

    • You’re so right — who DOESN’T want to win the lottery??!!

      • Well, I’d like to win it, but I refuse to play it.

        Goldfish in the nude. Who’s nekkid, you or the goldfish? And what’s the story behind it?

      • As for the goldfish, you’d have to ask my son about that one. He’s the one who decided that’s the way they should be eaten. I plan on giving it a whirl this week to see what all the hype’s about & I recommend you do the same. 😉 Please do stop by again for more of my random, quirky thoughts, ok? 😉

  4. You made me smile…I think we all need one of those everyday!!

    • Yay! So glad my blog post made you smile! Please stop by here again & again cause I have a feeling I might just make you smile again! 🙂

  5. Loved reading every bit of it – way to go! 🙂

    • Thanks so much for checking out my list of “Things I’ve Learned This Week” — I post one of those every Friday as a way to reflect on how the hell I survived another week of motherhood without sticking my head in the microwave. Please be sure to stop by as often as you’d like — I also have other random stories on Monday through Thursday about other stupid things that happen to me. Would love to give you another laugh if you’ll let me! 🙂

  6. Yes, yes, yes, and yes to this post!

  7. LMAO! Thanks for the laugh 🙂

    • Thank YOU for stopping by to get a laugh! Please be sure to visit me again — I’ve always got something crazy happening to me so laughs are a plenty. 😉

  8. Great post! Thanks for bringing a smile to my Friday morning. I feel the same as you about my beloved Diet Coke.

    • Thank you so much for the compliment & for checking out my blog post! So glad I could bring you a smile! Just so you know, I post a “Things I’ve Learned This Week” entry every Friday, as well as other nucking futty happenings on Monday through Thursday, so please be sure to stop by again. I might just give you another giggle or 2! 😉

  9. Pretty comical look at the trials that we all face on a weekly basis…although I beg to differ on Steven Segal…No, he may be an asshat, but is he even relevant enough for a blog mention anymore? (This coming from the guy who referenced “Blossom” in a blog recently…LOL)

    • Haha! “Blossom” — hysterical! I only mentioned Asshat Segal cause he’s being accused of all kinds of sexual harassment stuff. I just feel like the a-holes are multiplying by the dozens. And on another note, yes, I will most certainly toast you to adult interaction! My brain cells need all the stimulation they can get these days! 🙂

  10. Hilarious post. Wow, I better get to fixing lunch for the kids–as you said they need to eat everyday.

    • Thanks for reading & for laughing along with me. Life is WAY more fun if you can laugh your way through it. Please visit me again for more shits & giggles! 🙂

  11. Funny, funny! Sooo happy my kids are grown. I’ll split the lottery winnings with you.

    • Thanks so much for reading! I’ll split the lottery winnings w/you IF you promise to stop by here again & again…. 😉

  12. Thanks for the smile-supply!
    And speaking of Duct tape, here are my favorites:
    “Duct tape is like the Force.
    It has a light side & a dark side,
    and it holds the universe together.”

    “You only need two tools: If it moves and it’s not supposed to, use Duct tape. If it’s supposed to move and doesn’t, use WD-40. That should take care of most everything.” 😉

    • Thanks for stopping by for a smile! Please do so again cause there’s always plenty of laughs up for grabs here! 🙂

  13. Interesting Blog, Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Thanks so much for checking out my blog! My world’s always got something crazy going on, so please be sure to stop by for a visit again. I would be more than happy to give you a laugh if you need one! 🙂

  14. This is great, thanks for posting such down-to-earth and realistic hilarity!

    • Thanks so much for reading my post! Glad to hear you dug it & hope you come back again to Crazytown cause there’s always something nutty going on here. 🙂

  15. I could write a complete book on all the uses for duct tape…that picture just reminded me of that…

  16. This list is far too true for its own good and made me giggle like a maniac.

    • Well I’m so glad I could assist in helping you to giggle like a maniac! I feel honored! Please be sure to stop by again cause I just might make you giggle again…. 😉

  17. What a terrific entrance to the weekend, so many gems of wisdom.

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post! Glad to kick your weekend off right for you! Please stop by again & again — there’s always something nucking futty happening to me & I’m always willing to share it! 😉

  18. Thank you for giving me something to laugh hysterically at in the middle of my otherwise dull afternoon!

    • I am so happy to lend a laugh when I can! Please be sure to visit my nucking futty world again as often as you can. Misery sure does love company, ya know! 😉

  19. Thank you Friday just got a lil lighter for me and now I know my house isn’t the only house that can have a 3 pack of tape be gone in a blink

    • Glad I could make your Friday better! Please try to stop by again for more nucking futty fun! 🙂

  20. Duct tape is the king of tapes, you can pretty much fix anything with it, even from ships to planes.

    Remain.Simple

  21. Oh Geez your Duct Tape image!!!!

    Mom=humun coat hanger… grr..
    and

    kids need food?? I know? Who knew?

    • I swear the first thing my kids do when they see me is throw their crap at me. I didn’t realize that my limbs look like good places to hang shit. And yes, apparently, the little buggers do have to eat every day. Did they tell YOU about that when you signed up for this gig? Cause I didn’t get the memo….

  22. My dogs choice this week has been thong and boyshort. Lil’ stinker got 2 pair this morning! I need to buy a taller hamper with a lid. I don’t get it. She doesn’t even come up to my knee, but she can jump up and get into my hamper that’s 3 feet tall!

    Hampers with lids are tough to find unless you want an ugly plastic one fro Wal*Mart….

    My exclamation of choice lately has been Mother F’er but it’s usually at old school Super Mario Brothers….

    Can I get in on that lottery win??

    Have a great weekend!!

  23. You completely made my day. That was awesome entertainment!

    • Well you completely made my day by telling me I made your day, so thank you for that! I hope you decide to hop on board my crazy train again cause there’s always fun to be had at my expense here. Trust me, I am not afraid to make fun of myself & love for people to laugh along with me, so stop by again if you will! 🙂

  24. SWEET…just loved it

    • Thanks so much for checking out my post! I do a new “Things I’ve Learned This Week” post every Friday, as well as other random posts on Monday through Thursday about all the stupid crap that happens to me. Please stop by again for more of my nucking futty ramblings! 🙂

  25. F’ing-A, is my go to for everything lol

  26. Okay…tell me more about this Brazilian thing and the Goldfish eating.

    😛

    • The Brazilian thing, well, let’s just say it’s not smart to throw on tight running pants too soon afterwards & as for the naked Goldfish eating, you’d have to ask my son about the greatness of that. Apparently, it’s best done while sitting up at the bar too. 😉

  27. My friend dozenroses13 suggested your blog to me. Thanks Rose…I loved it!

    Your life seems strangely as exhausting, yet candid as mine! I look forward to reading more!

    Have a great weekend!

    • Thanks so much for taking @dozenroses13’s advice — she’s a smart woman! 😉 My life is definitely nucking futs, and I’m constantly getting good writing material each and every day since really stupid things tend to always happen to me or my family. Hope to see you here again for future posts! 🙂

  28. Nice posting. So many things we can learn from our children (in my case: my students). Simple yet incredible. 😉

    • Thanks so much for checking out my blog post! You’re so very right about us learning from kids — I wish I was as easily entertained and curious about everything like my twins are. I hope to see you stop by here again in the near future! 🙂

  29. A lot of wisdom here.

    • Thanks so much for stopping by my blog! If you’re interested, I do a “Things I’ve Learned This Week” post every Friday, as well as other nutty posts Monday through Thursday. Hope to see you stop by again sometime! 🙂

  30. First graders think they know everything, but they don’t, that’s why they take the scotch tape and not the wine!

  31. Life’s weird, that’s what I learned this week.

  32. very nice .liked it

  33. Loved this: ** Diet Coke is my co-pilot.
    LOL!!!!

    • Thanks so much for reading & commenting on my blog post! I should’ve said Diet Coke, wine & Advil are my co-pilots. How else could I get through all this insanity?! I post new entries every Mon-Thurs & do a “Things I’ve Learned This Week” post every Friday, so I hope you come back by to visit me again in the near future! 🙂

  34. Bravo!!!!!

    • Thanks so much for checking out my blog! I do one of these crazy “Things I’ve Learned This Week” posts every Friday, as well as other goofy, random posts Monday through Thursday. I hope you stop by again for a visit! 🙂

  35. Great post, very original.
    Loved to read this 🙂

    • Thanks so much for checking out my post! I do a “Things I’ve Learned This Week” post every Friday, as well as other random funny posts Monday thru Thursday, so I hope you come back to visit again in the future! 🙂

  36. LOL…love it and I love duck tape and it now comes in colors! Duck tape can fix anything temporarily and everything is temporary…… :}

    • Duct tape is seriously one of the greatest inventions EVER! Did you know it can cure a plantar’s wart?! Crazy, huh?! Worked like a charm on my son’s foot!

  37. Nice Post!!!

  38. nice one 🙂
    loved it 🙂
    if you like stuff related to life then please do visit my blog 🙂 link enclosed with the name.
    take care

  39. Check it chickie! Get your acceptance speech ready!!
    😀

    http://crazytownmayor.com/blog/2192/happiness-is/

  40. Hysterical!

    Am new to the internet blogging world… Always knew I could get a sanity fix by getting online and read the ramblings of another person just as off track as myself. But never thought to share my cranium creations until a friend suggested I put them out there! So I am in the process of putting my blog together and uploading my numerous nonsensical rhetoric. I know where I’ll be visiting whenever I need a break from my own insanity!

    Thanks again!

  41. That is really funny!! Great post 🙂

    btw ducktape is totally awesome!!! (MacGyver can testify to that!!)

    Yoga Thirst’s Blog

    • Thanks so much for reading my post! I hope you try & stop by again cause there’s always something nucking futty going on around here. 😉

  42. Thanks for the laugh! xD

    • Well thanks for allowing me to give you a laugh! I hope you stop by my blog again for more of my crazy ramblings — trust me, there’s always some kind of stupid crazy thing happening to me & I’m not at all afraid to tell all y’all about it. 😉

  43. LOL those are rules for students too. Funny how they work together.

    • Thanks so much for reading my Friday post! I think that even though a lot of my weekly wisdom was gained through my experiences with my twins, they are universal truths that can cover just about anyone. 😉 I hope you stop by here again for more crazy fun — there’s always something nutty going on. 🙂

  44. I heard that if you put raw potatoes under your eyes it makes bags go away

  45. Amen sister! Lol

  46. That really made me smile. 😀 Thanks. That made my day better.

    Maybe you could visit my website too! But mines really bad. I dont really know how to use it. Ha. So ya visit:

    http://everthing2tlkabout.webs.com/

  47. Such a lovely list! 🙂

    • Thanks so much for reading & commenting! I hope you stop by again for more of my nucking futty ramblings! 🙂

  48. Simple and funny! Keep on posting 🙂

    • Thanks so much for reading & for commenting! I do one of these “Things I’ve Learned This Week” posts every Friday to reflect on how in the world I survived another week without ending up in a straightjacket. I also post on Monday through Thursday about other random, silly things that happen to me — trust me, there’s never a dull moment around here. Please do stop by again! 🙂

  49. Glad to see my kiddos aren’t the only ones who are obsessed with scotch tape. UGH. lol

    • Scotch tape is seriously IMPOSSIBLE to keep around our house. I have no clue what the hell they even do with it (& frankly, I probably don’t WANT to even know)…. 😉

  50. Funny post.Thanks for sharing!

    • Well, thank YOU for taking the time to read my post! I hope you stop by again for more of my tales from the looney bin. There’s never a dull moment around here! 😉

  51. I really REALLY enjoyed this post!

    • Thanks so much for checking me out! Just so you know, I do one of these “Things I’ve Learned This Week” posts every Friday, plus other random posts about all the stupid crap that always tends to happen to me Monday through Thursday. I hope you decide to come back again to my world of nucking futtiness! 🙂

  52. hahah- sounds like an interesting week. 🙂

    • They’re surprisingly all like that if you can believe it! I do one of these “Things I’ve Learned This Week” posts every Friday, so I hope you come back then or even on other days to check out more of my crazy ramblings! 🙂

  53. Aha! So that’s why that boy of yours wanted to know if we had goldfish when he came over last week! Now I have a whole other level of respect for the mighty goldfish.

    • Didn’t you know that we’re secretly nudists? I’m sure you’re REALLY looking forward to the next BBQ now…. 😉

  54. I found your site from the WordPress.com page which has several sites that are strong enough to make the page. Your site is wonderful and beautiful.
    Thanks,,,

    • Wow! Thank you so much for the really nice compliments about my blog! I hope you come back again to visit my nucking futty world! 🙂

  55. Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

    Thumbs up, and keep it going!

    Cheers
    Christian, iwspo.net

  56. Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

    Thumbs up, and keep it going!

    Cheers
    Christian,Earn Free Vouchers / Cash

    • Well thank you! Glad to hear you dig my craziness! Hope you keep coming back for more poops & giggles! 😉

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