Kid Fibs

     Recently my son’s been talking about some kid that he plays with on the playground at school named “Pepe”.  I’d never heard this name EVER mentioned before, so I thought I’d pull out the school directory, and see just who this little “Pepe” boy was.  Turns out, though, that there isn’t a single freaking soul in the entire first grade with the name of Pepe.  Upon further investigation, I found out that my son took it upon himself to change the name of his friend (who, by the way, has absolutely no Spanish ties WHATSOEVER) to Pepe.  Seriously?  WTF, dude?  Unfortunately, it seems that this is just something that kids do — they make shit up.  

     Take, for instance, the imaginary friend.  Many of us had one when we were growing up, right?  (Come on, don’t make me feel like I’M the freak show here, people!)  Maybe it was a product of me being an only child and wanting a sibling, but yes, I, too, had an imaginary friend as a kid.  Her name was Sally, and she lived in the coat closet in the foyer.  Everyone in my family was required to engage with Sally, and she went everywhere that we would go. If we went out to eat, Sally would dine with us. If we went to the grocery store, Sally would ride in the cart with me.  People often looked at my mom like she was a damn nutcase when she’d fuss at Sally (aka:  the air) for trying to steal things off the shelves.  And God love my mom for playing along with the whole gig, too.

     Things all came to a head though one day when my mom came to pick “Sally” and me up at the babysitter’s house.  The babysitter frantically raced to the door with a look of anguished frustration on her face.  She nervously admitted to my mom that she’d been searching high and low for my lost doll — under beds, in closets, inside drawers, all to no avail.  As she proceeded to explain how absolutely terrible she felt about the situation, I stood there in the wings with a shit-eating half-grin on my little punk-ass face.  My mom put two and two together and asked if the doll’s name happened to be Sally, to which the babysitter said yes. Trying desperately hard not to bust out laughing, my mom told this very frazzled, very unsuspecting woman that she could search all day and all night and never ever find her because SALLY WAS INVISIBLE!!!  You can probably imagine just how relieved (and probably just how pissed) the babysitter felt after learning the real deal. 

     But, you see, pretending is just a part of being a kid.  And as a parent, I’ve learned that it’s best just to question every damn thing my kids tell me.  Who knows when they’re telling the truth and when they’re telling a fib.  Unfortunately, their noses just aren’t equipped like Pinocchio’s.  Therefore, I’m actually thinking about having a lie detector station installed in my house as a precaution for the teenage years.  It never hurts to be one step ahead of the game, ya know.  

      

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17 Responses

  1. Sounds like your son has been watching The Cosby show! Rudy named her little friend Buuuud!

  2. Wyatt’s friend is named, IB. As far as I can tell, IB seems to be a cross between a boy, a snake, a monster and an alien. Seems about right:)

  3. My 4 1/2 year old has so many imaginary friends that I lost count at 7 lol

  4. Forget my plan of trying to go on one date in 2010, I am just going to invent an imaginary boyfriend. Good post!

  5. Your babysitter got what she deserved if she didn’t even pay enough attention to notice that you didn’t bring a doll with you when you came. Boy, am I cranky today!

    • Yeah, you would’ve thought she’d notice what kind of crap I brought into her house, wouldn’t you?!

  6. Now if only they could make “lie detector” an iPhone app.

  7. Um….yeah. I’m calling you a freak.
    No imaginary friends for me or my 8 siblings (I would’ve totally loaned you a sister or brother though). None of my kids either….they didn’t like binkies or have a security blanket either.

    Nicknames, though, abound. The kids at school named my oldest daughter “the tiny menace” (which she loved) and now she has named herself “the dark princess of Awesome”

    …..and all of the plastic Easter eggs have names & personalities. 🙂

    • “The dark princess of Awesome” could not be a more awesome nickname! I’m going to start calling myself “The Dark Queen of Bad Ass”. 🙂

  8. “Unfortunately, it seems that this is just something that kids do — they make shit up”
    Yah kids do but wait till they are teenagers! The stories get even bigger! You would think they would grow out of this but they don’t.
    Very funny story!

    • Oh Lord — I dread the teenage years w/every fiber of my being! I’m shopping around for a giant bubble that I can trap them in before they turn 8 so I don’t even have to deal w/all that later on.

  9. Ooooh – Laughing like a fool in my office over Pepe….

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