Just Call Us The Griswolds

Know the great thing about being stuck in a car with your family for 22 hours?  Yeah, me neither.  I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a car by myself for 22 hours, let alone two fighting siblings who have car sickness tendencies and a husband who doesn’t believe in stopping for bathroom breaks. Nevertheless, that’s just what I found myself doing this past weekend as we loaded up the family truckster to make our way down to Florida for spring break.

With the car weighted down with snacks, DVD’s, video games, magazines, and 5,000 bags of luggage, we set off on the 1300 mile trek.  And sure enough, the “Are we there yet?” chants started in before we even made it out of downtown Chicago.  (Ok, so I’ll admit that I might have been a part of the chanting squad too, so don’t judge.)  What the holy hell did we do to pass all that time, you ask?  Well, my son was happier than Tiger Woods at a whore house since he got to play his Nintendo DS for literally eleven straight hours that day.  I don’t know how on earth the kid didn’t develop a permanent crick in his neck from looking down for so long.  My daughter watched movie after movie, while I tweeted away the miles on my phone.  We were all doing a happy dance when we finally stopped for the night in Tennessee.

Surprisingly, the pukes didn’t set in until day two of our journey, when I happened to glance in the back seat to find my daughter looking like Casper the ghost.  I somehow managed to grab a plastic bag just in time to catch her tossed cookies.  And I gotta say that the girl’s a freaking rock star, too, because she downed a McD’s cheeseburger less than thirty minutes later and kept it down the whole rest of the way.  I also shocked myself in somehow managing to read three Us magazines in the car without feeling like I was gonna polish my shoes.

By the time we FINALLY got to Florida, we were all cross-eyed, jelly-legged, and pretty freaking sick of each other, and our car looked like a damn battle field with all the food wrappers, crumbs and water bottles strung about.  But HALLE-FLIPPING-LUJAH!  We had finally reached our destination!  And the thanks we’ve gotten in return for those 22 hours of blood, sweat, and tears?  Two days of clouds and now rain — Mother Nature better get out of her bitchy mood, or I may have to punch a moose in the face.

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21 Responses

  1. And you started out in Chicago, very authentic Griswold. You will be going to Wally World I hope 🙂

    Wishing you less puke for the trip home! What a brilliant daughter you have… bag puke is the best kind for travel 😉

    • Thank you! I have a feeling there will inevitably be puke involved on the return trip though. That’s just kinda the way we roll. I, however, will have LOTS of plastic bags on hand in preparation!

  2. i drive on fam trips , because there is no one in my car that would even attempt to catch my tossed cookies.

  3. Too funny. Haven’t had a road trip with the pukes yet, but I know it will happen sometime. Hope you guys have a great vacation

    • I think it’s a right of passage as a parent to have to clean up puke in th ecar at some point in time, so get ready. 🙂

  4. Our Christmas trip to Arizona and San Diego included my daughter upchucking, ruining the new-car-smell in the rental. The best part of the trip (for me) was 2 hours alone in a great used book store by myself…and with a latte. Wishing you some solo time too – or at least some sun. Bon vacances!

    • Thank you! I’m gonna get some alone time in the sun today cause hubby’s taking the kids to a Twins’ training game. Gonna drink a rita & read my book! Yahoo! 🙂

  5. I couldn’t imagine driving – or sitting in the car that long. I thought our 3 hour drive on our last vacation was going to kill me! My 2 year old did cry the whole time he was in the car. There’s no way I could do 22 hours.

    God bless you woman – you should get the best mom of the year award and shove it up mother nature’s ass.

    • Haha! I’d have to take that award out of Mama Nature’s ass now though cause the weather’s supposed to be beautiful the rest of the time we’re here. And I have to deal with enough in the taking care of other people’s asses department as it is…. 😉

  6. At least you didn’t get to the FLA state line and have a guard tell you “sorry folks, state’s closed”! Last year I did a NY-FLA drive myself (son and wife flew) and I have to say those were 18 of the most peaceful hours of my life–stopped when I wanted, listened to whatever I wanted to on the radio, or just had complete silence!

    • 18 hours by yourself??!! Wow! That’s a LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGG trip! I know what you mean about the alone time though. Peace & quiet is such a rare thing when you have kids.

  7. What are you on a trip with me?? I swear I bring rain where ever I go..beach + me = rain. My girlfriends are about to stop inviting me 😉 but w/ kids and rain- yikes- disaster!

    I think you should get a medal or 2 for making the trip, surviving and then doing MIL duty too!

    • I know what you mean about the beach & the rain — we’ve been down to FL multiple times when they’ve had record low temps. Sucks big time trying to find “fun” activities for the kids to do indoors.

  8. Wow, what a trip. I hope the weather in Florida clears up for you … if for no other reason than to save the moose from a punch in the face.

    • Thank you — the weather is actually supposed to be gorgeous the rest of the time we’re here. So, I may have to wait to punch that moose…. 😉

  9. 1300 freakin’ miles?? Wow…kudos to you and the family for even attempting that.

    I’m hoping the weather lightens up for you. I absolutely LOVE Florida…very envious right now.

  10. Anywhere farther than 8 hours away requires a flight for me. I don’t have the patience to be in a car that long ESPECIALLY with children! I’m glad you made it to FL! Mother Nature better step it up!!

    • Good for you — stick to your guns on that 8 hour maximum car time rule you’ve got going! Anything longer just turns into a big headache. Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  11. You are hilarious! I use to make that drive all the time in college! That was when it was cheaper to drive than fly :/ I hope you had a good trip 🙂

  12. what a great site and informative posts, I will bookmark your site. Keep up the good work!

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