Facebook Foul

    

     Are you a Facebook addict?  Do you constantly update your status and spend hours looking through other people’s pictures?  I used to be on there a whole lot more than I am now.  I will say that it’s definitely a great place to reconnect with old friends and to see where life has taken them.  However, lately, I’ve become a bit turned off by the whole thing because of those over-the-top mushy statuses that make me want to vomit on my computer screen:

     “My amazing hubby is like a gift from the heavens.”  
     “Every single part of motherhood makes me giddy with happiness.”
     “My life is so rich and full of sunshine and rainbows.”   

     Now, if you just so happened to marry Prince Charming and you truly enjoy digging baby poop from under your fingernails, then that is absolutely wonderful for you. Unfortunately, though, there are those of us who may just be having a really sucky day and don’t really care to hear you toot your horn about the awesomeness that is your life.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to send your freak of nature husband or your infant’s little patootie a personal thank you note instead of broadcasting it to the rest of the free world?  Don’t get me wrong — I truly am happy that you’ve found the utopia that we all seek in life.  However, I just don’t need you to shove it in my face when I’m just a phone call away from checking myself into the nut house.

     And then there are those who feel they need to wrap up their whole world with a big shiny bow so that everything looks hunky dory on the outside, when in reality, it’s gone to shit on the inside.  They want to put on this facade that they live on “perfect mountain” high above the rest of us imperfect souls.  I’m convinced that these are the very same people who send out those obnoxious holiday newsletters, bragging about all the amazing things they have that you don’t.  

     And it’s not always easy to tell whether those ooey gooey Facebook statuses are for real or whether they are just trying to overcompensate for something.  Regardless, though, I really wish people would take a serious chill pill on the praise singing.  So if you really feel the need to shout it out to the treetops about how unbelievable you think you are, then open your back door and scream to your little heart’s desire.  That way, you’ll spare the rest of us who are struggling just to hang on for dear life.

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27 Responses

  1. I am so with you! What is with the you are a beautiful woman meme like thing going aorund telling you to up date your status too. It is crazy! Too much hunky dory and way too much generic status updates. Driving me nucking futs you know!

  2. Oh i soo agree.. I am really over Facebook right now. I love me some twitter though it just seems real. Plus all those Farmville updates make me want to blow my brains out…

  3. I committed Facebook suicide about three months ago. No cause for alarm – that simply means deleting your account. I wasn’t using it and even though I write a blog I wasn’t comfortable with posts every second of my life online accompanies by photos and receiving friend requests for people I’ve never met. I could go on and on. I didn’t like the fact that I could Google my name and find my facebook info either.

    • I didn’t realize your Facebook account would pop up if you Googled your name! That’s kinda creepy. And I know what you mean about the random friend requests — I swear I don’t know where some of these people come from.

  4. LOL!!! I swear we were separated at birth! My husband & I make a point never to say anything about each other because it is so gag-tastic when other people do.

    I also hate the chain-mail status with the “93% won’t post this” crap. One day it was particulary ticking me off because everyone was saying they love their mothers & some people don’t have theirs around to appreciate etc….I wanted to scream: “yes & those “some people” also don’t like being reminded that our mothers are dead!!!”…Then my sister declared it was “Karen the crazy bitch day” (Karen being my mother) & we all told crazy stories….I made it into a note…you should read it next time you visit FB. 🙂

    • I know — some people really don’t think about how hurtful their words might be when it comes to certain holidays like Mother’s Day, etc. Very sad & selfish.

  5. love love LOVE this. esp because those status updates and the “i’m eating” or “i’m tired” kill me. so annoying. i USED to be a fanatic. i’m getting over it. i’ve gotten back in touch with a lot of good people so i won’t cancel my acct but yeah, ANNOYED.

    • Haha! I know what you mean about those incredibly BORING status updates — why do people think I care that they’re taking a dump?!

  6. I deactivated my account about a month ago. I wish you could DELETE it but Facebook won’t let you do that yet. I guess they assume you will eventually come crawling back, needing it, obsessing over it, craving it :op

    I’m much happier with just my blog and twitter. The super sacchrine Facebook updates were putting my teeth on edge as well as some extremely ignorant, judgemental argueing I saw there. Bah, I hope you die Facebook!

    • I know what you mean — there’s definitely a lot of cattiness that goes w/Facebook & it sometimes seems a little too much like high school. I am digging Twitter much more these days.

  7. I’m over FB as well. I rarely update my status. I’m annoyed with about 95% of the stuff people send me and want me to do. Farmville? Shoot me.
    I find I’m more honest on Twitter and my blog. And it’s NOT sunshine and puppies and rainbows all the time. But that’s me and my life.

    • OMG — what the hell is Farmville?! I have no clue what that is, yet my Home page is full of that crap. I’m on Twitter way more now cause it seems a lot more real to me.

  8. If I gave two shits about what these people were doing , I would know what their status is already.
    There is such a thing on Facebook called ‘share’ and people need to learn when to, and when not to.

    and I don’t give two shits about friggin’ farmville or mafia either. When I play that shit, I choose NOT to publish my silliness because I don’t want someone snarking off at my updates either!

    • Oh dear God, those mafia & farmville things drive the shit out of me! I rarely even go on there cause my Home page is full of that crap.

  9. Hey don’t blame them for having perfect lives blame them for playing inane games and constantly posting about them. Really how many games can Facebook support?!

  10. here’s my thought on this….those that feel the need to broadcast their happiness aren’t truly all that happy in the first place! I have one of ‘those’ facebook friends and it drives me nuts how fake she is!

    • That’s exactly what I think about Facebook — if you have to broadcast it, you might be hiding something.

  11. Too funny..I have a post coming up that is based on a ridiculous post from my lifelong friend..HELLO!! I know you and your husband…and either you are delusional or on some good meds! I get the I just love, love, love my life.. OR I have the most wonderful, fantabulous husband. Really? The same guy who goes hunting and fishing every freaking weekend and stays out playing poker until the wee hours twice a week? I know this b/c you call me bitching about it. My question is why open your self up to that type of scrutiny?? I don’t get it!

  12. I completely agree! I have an acquaintance who posts at least twice a week how much she loves her husband, how blessed she is, how wonderful her kids are, and how much she loves God. Well I KNOW for a fact that she and her husband argue daily, don’t sleep in the same bed, she yells at her kids and barely sees them cause she works at night and sleeps all day, and she NEVER goes to church……so what the hell is she trying to prove? I say all the time that those status are their way of making their lives seem way better than they actually are. I am not perfect, my husband is not perfect, my children are not perfect and my life is not perfect…..but it is mine and I am happy about it, I just don’t need anyone else’s approval to be happy!

    • I soooooo know what you mean about Facebook — how can people expect those who truly know them to believe their lives are all sunshine and roses when they most certainly are anything but?!

  13. I can’t stand Facebook. For one, I don’t need to know that much about other people. I’d rather have a real conversation then see some pics of them at a party.

    Also, when I began FB all the people who wanted to follow me were from my high school days. None of them talk to me, I’m just on their list. Ooo, so exciting. I’d rather talk and build relationships on Twitter.

    Relationships end for a reason, and I think FB makes it too easy to drag them back up again and delve right back into the crap that made you let it go in the first place. I don’t need that.

    • You made such a valid point regarding Facebook & dredging up the past. What kills me are the people who request to be your friend who were total bitches to you back in the day — who do they think they’re kidding?!

  14. I’m so sorry you had to read my mushy statuses. Now that I know so many people find them annoying, I will stop! (Okay not really.) They make my husband so happy and my worst enemies so jealous!

  15. Thanks for the excellent post. Is this a wordpress site? I like that platform, very good.

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