Score One For Me!

     Every once in a while, my kids surprise the hell out of me and actually listen to what I tell them.  It is on those rare occasions when I pat myself on the back and use my right hand to fist bump my left.  There aren’t too many of these moments in parenthood, so you gotta soak ’em up while you can.  I even keep a tally mark on my bathroom wall so I don’t forget them.

     One of these “aha” moments came out of my constant preaching about the cleanliness (or lack thereof) of public bathrooms.  Call me a germ freak or call me plain paranoid, but I have a “thing” about the toilets.  I just can’t bear the thought of placing my shiny clean hiney on a shit-covered seat.  Therefore, I am a tried and true squatter.  My kids, on the other hand, have not quite mastered the art of squatting, so I’ve gotten in the habit of lining every last millimeter of the toilet seat with as much toilet paper as is humanly possible before they plop down on it.  They know that no matter how bad they have to go, Mama’s still gotta get the seat ready first.  

     As important as this has always been to me, I wasn’t so sure how prudent it would be to my kids once they finally started school.  God only knew what they would do before climbing on board the school shitter.  Much to my pleasant surprise, though, my public bathroom phobia actually wore off on my little minions, as well!  I remember one of my first parent/teacher conferences with my son’s preschool teacher where she had to hold back her giggles as she told me her favorite story about my little guy.  He’d asked to go to the bathroom, so the teacher’s assistant accompanied him down the hall and waited outside the door while he did his business.  After several L-O-N-G minutes, she began to worry that maybe he had a problem or something.  When she poked her head in to see if he needed help, she found him carefully covering the toilet seat one square of TP at a time.  She said that in all her years of teaching, she’d never had a kid do that before.  Yep, that’s my boy — I had never been so proud!  

     And it seems that my daughter’s little spongebrain was also soaking up this message over time, as well.  Just last week at her ice skating lesson, she went into the bathroom with her friend before class.  I followed her in there to help with her snow pants, etc.. When she was ready to do the deed, she shooed me out of the stall so she could have some “privacy.”  Before she did, though, she reassuringly told me, “Don’t worry Mommy.  I’ll put toilet paper down first.”  And there it was again — proof that my children do not, in fact, have a hearing problem.

     So, even though I often feel like a broken record as I repeat myself over and over again, sometimes, my babbling actually sinks into my kids’ heads.  I may have to wait years upon years for further proof of this, but it’s nice to know that it IS actually possible.  At least in the meantime, I’ve got peace of mind in knowing that their junk in the trunk will be spared from the nastiness that lies on the rim of public pissers!

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One Response

  1. I’m always surprised when I get confirmation that my son isn’t deaf. I’ll hear him explaining something and saying exactly what I’ve said and I nearly keel over.

    I really thought I was wasting my time.

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