Rainy Day Rant


     Today is one of those wet, dreary days when you just wanna crawl back in bed with a good book.  Sadly, I haven’t done that for almost seven years now.  Instead, I had to make my fifteen thousandth pit stop this week at the grocery store.  And as if going to the grocery store in the rain wasn’t bad enough in and of itself, I had the misfortune of coming across two other irritating issues that bug the absolute hell out of me and make me want to succumb to online shopping forever more.

     As much as I practically live at the freaking grocery, I really think I have earned VIP parking status, and, therefore, should have a front row parking space in my Nucking Futs name.  But, because the world is full of unfairness, I had to park ridiculously far from the door and walk my ass through the pouring down rain.  As I was getting out of my car, I noticed that some lazy son of a bitch had left their shopping cart right in front of the car next to me.  I don’t know about you, but this is something that just boils my blood.  The damn cart corral was a mere 15 feet away, yet some slacker idiot couldn’t muster up the energy to walk it over there.  They decided to leave it for the wind to ram right into some poor sap’s car door. How thoughtful of them.  I decided to put on my good citizen’s hat and return it to the corral myself on the way into the store.  



     After I grabbed all the crap I needed to buy, I made my way to a checkout lane, where piss-off issue number two reared its ugly head in my direction.  The cashier asked me, “Do you want to make a contribution to breast cancer research today?” Now, mind you, I have already made a donation to breast cancer research earlier this month, so I am all about finding a cure.  However, I am sick and tired of being harassed to donate to this or that cause EVERY stinkin’ time I go to the grocery store! Every single day of every single week somebody’s trying to wrangle more money out of me.  And if you say, “No thank you, not today,” they give you the raised eyebrows with a small shake of the head as if to say, “You are a selfish bitch, lady.”  Believe you me, I have donated to plenty of causes throughout the year on my own free will.  I just personally don’t like to have it shoved in my face week after week — it’s overkill and could potentially make people bitter about giving to charitable causes.  

     As I made my way back through the downpour and got into my car, I noticed a fluffed up little bird who was hiding out under the car next to me.  I was so aggravated that I actually thought about joining him.  He seemed to have the right idea just tucking himself away from the rest of the messy, outside world.  Knowing my luck, though, the car would back up right over me and turn me into parking lot roadkill.


13 Responses

  1. Excellent rant and I totally agree!

  2. omg. just omg. what a day.

  3. I also felt horrible turning down a donation at the checkout recently. But I had done it the day before!!

    • I just think the donation thing has gotten out of control. I feel like I’m asked to donate EVERYWHERE I go. We’re in a recession, people!

  4. The shopping cart thing erks me too. The one that bugs me is when the jerks leave them in the wider handicapped spaces. They can’t walk the extra few yards to at least leave them at the front of the store?

  5. Glad to know the same things piss you off. I went to my grocery store the other day, and of course the self check-out was closed. I got into the express lane (behind the coupon lady, totally agrivating) and then when it is my turn, I just wanted to pay and get out. Instead I get asked about donating to something. I say, “Not today thank you.” trying to be nice. then after she rings up my order, what does she say, “Are you sure you don’t want to donate just $1.” I almost FLIPPED on that girl, but I kept my composure and said, “No, I have other things that I need to pay for right now.” What I really wanted to say was, “You already asked me once you little wretch, don’t ask me a second time. Not everyone has money to be giving away right now. Now finish ringing up my shit and lets get this thing moving here!” The only reason I didn’t is because I didn’t want to make a scene with my daughter there. THEN, I get out to the parking lot, and put Elsa in her seat, which is on the passenger side of the truck. I put my groceries in the back, and proceeded to put the cart in the corral (which I was parked next to). Then I get over to the driver side door, and some inconsiderate asshole decides that leaving their cart across my driver side door is a great place. The couldn’t walk to the cart corral that was on THE OTHER SIDE OF MY TRUCK! I put the cart in the cart corral, but at that point I was so angry I was about to explode. So as I was backing out, the world’s most impatient person was trying to get into my parking spot and started honking at me because I wasn’t moving fast enough (guess he must have been in a hurry). The second he started laying on that horn, my anger EXPLODED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually flipped some guy off in front of my daughter. I felt so terrible after I did that, not because I lost my temper, but because I did it in front of my 1 1/2 year old child.

    • I think we beat ourselves up WAY too much as moms. We have a shit ton of stress to deal with and inevitably, it’s gonna explode at some point. As long as your 1 1/2 year old daughter isn’t flipping the dude off w/you, it’s all good. 🙂

  6. I think that those things get on any sane person’s nerves. There is also the person who gets in the 8-item express lane with twice as many things, the 105 year old lady who counts out three dollars worth of pennies to pay her bill, the coupon users who don’t prepare their coupons ahead of time and the 6-person family who shops together and stops every five feet, blocking the whole damn aisle. As you may have guessed, I don’t have a lot of patience for grocery stores and try to go there as little as humanly possible!

    • I think the moral of the story is that the grocery store just pisses me off in every way, shape, or form.

  7. I have to admit I am guilty of the shopping cart issue at times. But only when Geena is with me. After we head out to the car the first thing I do is buckle her in. I have to do it first. A few yrs ago I didn’t buckle her in first and with everything on my mind and her door closed I completely forgot to. I know, bad mom. I noticed it when we got home. After that I vowed I would buckle her in first, then unload the groceries. Usually I park at the back of the parking lot to get some much needed exercise. They don’t have the cart returns back there. Since Geena is buckled in and would be out of sight if I waddle the cart up front, I just leave it there. If i’m alone, I bring it back up.

    About the fundraising nagging from the cashiers, it’s not their fault. Working in retail management for 20 yrs and fundraising for Children’s Miracle Network for many of those yrs. The District Manager sets a goal for each cashier to reach based on store size and the shift they work. In order to reach that goal they have to ask 99% of the people. Some Dm’s will write up an employee for not asking a customer because they are not following company instructions. As a consumer and one on a tight budget I might add, I totally agree with you. I hate get bombarded with all would you like to donate to……. I feel bad for saying no, but it’s not in my budget to donate everytime. When they are fundraising, I now avoid the cashiers at all costs. I go through the self check out.

    But what I really hate is when the Salvation Army bell ringers are out there. They nag the crap out of you on the way in and on the way out. Plus, it bugs me when they say “Merry Christmas”. Not everyone celebrates Christmas. After hearing it 50 times, it gets annoying. I will yell back Happy Hanukkah! Then I usually get the response of “I don’t celebrate Hanukkah.” Well, jerk, I don’t celebrate Christmas, so quit wishing me a merry one. In my personal opinion, so they don’t offend people, they should just say “Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings.” My employees were trained to say either happy holidays or season’s greetings. That way they weren’t leaving anyone out.

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