msin307l     Yesterday was Day Two of the hub’s grand idea < insert sarcasm > for a family “staycation,” so we took the kids to Kiddieland, which is a run-down amusement park paradise for small kids that is apparently going out of business after this year. My kids have been begging to go to Kiddieland after seeing umpteen thousand commercials advertising the hell out of all the fun they were sure to have there. Much to our surprise, everybody else in every surrounding suburb also decided to hit up Kiddieland yesterday for one final hoorah.  

     What a warm and fuzzy welcome it was to arrive at the park at the exact same time as every other family, only to have to wait in a ridiculously long line that stretched all the way through the parking lot.  As usual, the weatherman had completely botched the forecast, and it was way hotter than predicted.  Standing around on black concrete in the boiling sun was a bit of a bubble burster for the kids. They wanted to get into Kiddieland (damnit!), and this waiting around in line was not at all part of the fun the commercials had promised.  It also didn’t help matters much that the heat of the day was cooking up a stomach-churning stench of trash that wafted through the air. We hadn’t even gotten into the park yet, and I was ready to leave.

     Once we finally bought our tickets and made our way to the rides, the kids were in seventh heaven.  They were finally tall enough to go on pretty much every ride there.  The problem, though, was that all those people who were waiting in line with us at the entrance were now waiting in line with us at the rides.  I swear that I have never seen a bigger bunch of rude people in all my life.  Amusement parks are without question a gigantic stage for the world’s most barbaric behavior.  I can’t even tell you how many adults tried to cut in front of my kids in line.  They’d try to play the dumb card and pretend like they didn’t see the huge-ass zigzag line that swirled around and around behind me.  They seriously had no shame. However, I had had it and was not at all afraid to literally put my foot down and show these people their respective places AT THE BACK OF THE LINE! Then, the people who were actually following the rules of waiting in line were not necessarily following the rules of respecting personal space. Nothing grosses me out more than being hot and sweaty and having some other hot and sweaty stranger rubbing up against me.  I had my own stink to deal with, thank you very much!  I wanted everyone to just back off.

     The other fun aftereffect of having a massive amount of people in one space was a wreck of a mess in the bathrooms.  And with little kids guzzling LOTS of lemonade, there was no escaping multiple trips to the toilet.  Half-way through the day, there were only a few stalls that actually had any toilet paper left, and most of the ones that did were stopped up or overflowing.  Plus, the floor was covered with filthy dirty water, making me question why it was that I decided to wear flip-flops there.  Each time we had to make a little pit-stop, I told my kids that we had to be in and out in record speed.

     Despite the heat, filth and rude behaviors all around us, my kids had an absolute ball.  I loved watching them grin ear to ear and laugh till their little faces hurt on all the rides.  Yeah, they may have argued and fought a little here and there while standing around waiting to go on the rides, and yeah, there may have been a fit or two thrown over who got to sit with whom, and yeah, we may have threatened to leave the park a few times if they didn’t get along with each other, but overall, they got a kick out of every little bit of it.  I guess the commercials painted a pretty accurate picture, because Kiddieland was all about fun for the kids.  It certainly wasn’t about me and my pounding headache, dirt-covered feet, aching back and growling stomach. The fact that my kids relished the whole experience made all the blood, sweat and tears worth it.  I had to laugh to myself, though, as were were finally exiting the park at 7:30 last night, when I read the words on this woman’s t-shirt.  The shirt said, “All this stress and no one to choke.”  Ha!  I coulda used that back when we stood in the log ride for 45 minutes….


4 Responses

  1. Wow, before reading this I didn’t want to go to Kiddieland. Now I REALLY don’t want to go! Just kidding….sort of. It sounds like your kids had a great time. If I go I’ll be sure to tweet all about it.

    Great post!

    • Thanks for reading & commenting! It really was worth it to see how much fun the kids had — when we first got there, my daughter said, “WOW! This is just like Disney World!” I didn’t counter, but just shook my head in agreement. She’s 6 — what does she know??!! I’m exhausted today from all the standing around in the heat, but, like I said, it was all for the kids. Man, I wish I was a kid….

  2. We had a place like that here in Houston called Peppermint Park. It’s gone now and we have such great memories of it. Your voice in your writing is hilarious!! thanks for sharing- I love your tweets too!

    • Thanks so much for reading & for commenting! Love to have people laugh along with me — makes it easier to get through the insanity! 🙂

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