The Shoe Zoo

    mban590l[1]     I swear this trip to Grammy’s house has been full of bribes, but hey, a mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do.  Survival of the fittest baby!  So, yesterday, Grammy and I decided to keep up the spirit of allurement by promising the kids that we’d take them to the dollar store afterwards if they’d first go to the shoe store to pick out new school shoes.  They each had a dollar in quarters that was just burning a whole in their little pockets.

     We took them to this store here in town that has to be one of the most obnoxious places I’ve ever been.  My mom and I call it the shoe zoo, if that tells you anything.  When you walk in, you’re immediately greeted with pulsing music that’s turned up to the loudest possible volume.  In addition, you also have the pleasure of listening to the wannabe auctioneer guy who stands in a booth in the center of the store screaming out the day’s best bargains into his screeching microphone.  You also tend to stand there in overwhelming awe at the rows upon rows of shoes that don’t appear to be in any sort of natural order whatsoever.  It’s truly one of those places where you want to get the hell in and out as quickly as you possibly can in order to spare your ears and your brain from any further torture.

     Surprisingly, my kids both picked out shoes that they found “acceptable” fairly quickly.  Naturally, though, wouldn’t you know that the pair that my daughter picked out only had one friggin’ shoe in the box.  We then had to hunt down one of the sales associates, who, after searching through the enormous maze of shoes, we found high up on a ladder stocking even more shoes (seriously, how many more shoes does this place really need??!!).  When she climbed down from the ladder, she was a rather shocking site to see, with jet-black spiky hair that could poke your eyes right out and makeup painted on at least three layers thick.  (I couldn’t help but think that all she was missing was a big red spongy nose to complete her look.)  We explained the issue to her, and Bozo promised to locate the other shoe as she disappeared into the black hole of footwear.  While she was gone, the kids busied themselves with the box of nylon footies the store provides for trying on shoes.  Apparently, my kids find pantyhose quite fascinating and decided to place them on multiple parts of their bodies.  Who knew that nylons could be so entertaining?! 

     When Bozo FINALLY returned with the missing shoe, we grabbed our boxes and quickly made our way through the madness to the checkout area.  We walked out of there with two new pairs of shoes (thanks to the generosity of good ole Grammy) and 6 new pairs of stolen stocking socks (thanks to my little kleptos).  I was so thankful to be free and clear of the shoe zoo that I almost forgot that we then had to succumb to the torments of the dollar store.  Oh goody.  Let the good times roll….

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2 Responses

  1. (totally unrelated)…
    I used your Mom’s treasure hunt idea today & it went over great!! Tell her thx for the idea!

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