That’s News to Me


     My knowledge of the world and what’s going on in it has drastically reduced since I’ve become a mom.  I feel like I’m a day late and a dollar short on most of the top stories in the news.  It never fails that EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to either listen to or catch up on current events, my little expert interrupters prevent me from doing just that. I think they must be equipped with some type of special radar that sends out a signal when Mama’s trying to be productive.  

     Even though I often have the Today show on during the morning craziness, I rarely catch even one full story’s content.  It’s hard to really piece it all together when you’re also flipping waffles, making lunches, packing bags, organizing carpools, and giving five minute countdown to departure warnings till you’re blue in the face.  Even if I try to pop online to bring myself up to speed, I am somehow hunted down and distracted from the news of the day to deal with other more pressing issues — someone’s peed on the bathroom floor or won’t share the Wii.      

     The funny thing is that my kids only do this to me.  I swear, my husband could read an ENTIRE New York Times newspaper cover to cover without interruption in the presence of both kids, but I can’t even so much as read a paragraph in a smut-filled Us Magazine without someone asking me for something.  This morning, I must have read the same two sentences ten times before I could actually even comprehend what I was reading.  And even when I tell them to go ask their dad, they still insist on coming to me for any and all problems, however ridiculous they may be.  Why am I the designated go-to gal??!! 

     I have come to realize that I will just have to rely on other people to inform me of any major catastrophes that might be looming in our world, because Heaven forbid, I actually inform myself.  So, if aliens are planning a massive attack or a ginormous astroid is headed to my town, would you please be a doll and let me know?  Thanks so much!


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