Morning From Hell

     You know you’re not off to a good start when you’re ready to call it a day, and you realize that it’s only 9:15 in the morning. Unfortunately for me, this was how my Monday began today, thanks to the extreme stubbornness of my son.  The little dude pushed every one of my buttons this morning, making both he and his sister late for school and me ready to lose my mind.

     It all began with a ridiculous argument while my twins were brushing their teeth.  Apparently, calling someone “poophead” is grounds for war. There was a standoff, followed by some tears, followed by some tattle-telling.  My son was pissed that my daughter ratted him out, and therefore, refused to do anything anyone asked him to do from that point on.  

     My daughter was already in her coat and out the door before my son had even waddled down the upstairs hall to make his bed.  Since our Wii is currently being repaired, I threatened to take away my only other bargaining tool — computer time.  I was already about to count to three before he finally gave in and made his bed, but then he refused to come down the stairs to put on his shoes and backpack. When I told him that he’d just lost computer time, that pushed him right over the edge.  He slithered to the floor like a snake and began to wail.  Because my blood was about to boil right out of my skin, I had to walk out of the house to take deep breaths.  We were already five minutes late for school.  

     Once I had regained a smidgen of my composure, I marched up the stairs to scoop my son from the floor, shoved his shoes on his feet, stuffed his arms into his jacket and dragged him and his backpack to the car. Several neighbors just stared at me in either horror or confusion, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming at them to piss off.  When we finally got to the school, I couldn’t get my son to take off his seatbelt OR get out of the car.  By this point, my heart was racing, and I was sweating like a pig.  For the love of God, what did I do to deserve this??!!  

     I had to unbuckle him and once again, schlepp him and his damn backpack all the way from the car to the nurse’s office to sign him in late. I had to laugh out loud when I got to the part on the sign in sheet that asked the reason for the tardiness.  I wondered how I was supposed to explain the entire events of the morning in a tiny little two inch box.  I simply wrote “LATE” and left it at that.  If the nurse really wants to hear about our reason, I’d be glad to review the whole ordeal with her over drinks at happy hour….



5 Responses

  1. Maybe they should add a new chapter to “what to expect when you’re expecting” labelled “the morning from hell”–better yet, a preface or introduction by Dr. Nucking Futs entitled “You’re sure you wanna do this?”

    • LOL! I don’t think I’d be a very good person to send an expectant mother to, especially on a day like today….let’s just say that the day from Hell ended with my daughter pooping in her pants cause she didn’t want to miss the ending of “Tom & Jerry” — are you freaking kidding me??!! Time to call it a day….

  2. it’s days like those that I’m glad for short term memory loss or mom-memory-blocking or whatever you wanna call it.

    I live for days when my kids are so good that I can laugh at other people’s children misbehaving (and no, it doesn’t happen often)

  3. Oh yikes!! I had the same morning yesterday… Thank goodness today was tamer to a degree :o)
    Wishing you a pleasant day!!

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