What the Hell Were They Thinking?

     Yesterday was one of those days when I found myself wanting to repeatedly shout, “What the hell were you thinking??!!” to my kids.  Of course, I realize that this would have accomplished absolutely NOTHING because I already knew the answer to the question — they weren’t!  

     It began with my daughter stealing bringing home a large rock from one of her elementary school’s landscaping beds. As we were piling out of the car, I noticed her lingering just a bit too long behind the car.  When I went back to see what the hold-up was, I saw her scraping the pirated rock along the back bumper of our car.  My eyes must’ve been as big as cantaloupes when I focused on the scene before me.  What the hell was she thinking??!!  I immediately yelled in my meanest voice to stop what she was doing, which prompted all kinds of lip pouting and over-the-top waterworks. When I examined the damage, there was indeed a pretty decent-sized scratch right there in plain sight, giving me the old middle finger.  I could not believe she would have the balls to do something so destructive to something so expensive!  Now, I’m stuck with what type of punishment to give a six year old for vandalism.  

     Then, (as if that wasn’t enough) yesterday afternoon when I took the kids for haircuts, my son decided to use his allowance money to buy a plastic set of golf clubs to hit around the back yard.  While I busied myself with the mail and checking email, he apparently decided to create his very own golf course right in the back of our house.  The child actually got a freaking shovel from the garage and dug holes smack dab in the middle of the back yard. Again, what the hell was he thinking??!!  We have enough trouble getting good grass to grow as it is because of all the gigantic oak and elm trees that shade our yard.  And now, thanks to my son, we’ll have even more work cut out for us this year!

     Two acts of wreckage in one day was a bit much for me to handle, especially when the offenders didn’t even have the slightest clue of the damage they had inflicted.  My mind was filled with worry of what the future holds for us.  Are my twins gonna be spray painting subways and slashing tires by the time they’re in middle school?  God help me! Margaritas — please come to the rescue! Mama needs you now…..



2 Responses

  1. The golf course absolutely cracked me up!!!!

  2. That’s hilarious. Maybe your daughter will own a custom paint job shop & your son will design golf courses. (no, I’m not an eternally optomistic mom–I’m covering myself for openly laughing at your misery)

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