Whatever Gets You Through Aisle 9

I am amazed at how organized some people seem to be at the grocery store.  This woman in front of me today had her entire basket neatly categorized by food type.  How on earth does she do that?!  I’m usually in such a hurry that I just throw the crap in the cart as I’m frantically moving along from aisle to aisle.  Maybe she actually enjoys the whole food shopping experience.  I, on the other hand, despise it! I have made it a point to try my damnedest to shop without my kids because they tend to wreak too much havoc when tagging along.  As with most of my parenting, I had to learn this lesson the hard way, of course.  On one particular grocery excursion, my kids somehow talked me into using one of those monstrous carts that look like cars. Why I agreed is beyond me because the thing was IMPOSSIBLE to steer.  We banged and bumped into everything in our path, and they fought over who got to be the “driver” of the car.  After several aisles of having to play referee, the bickering suddenly stopped.  I wasn’t going to question it — I took advantage of the rare peacefulness and hurried through the rest of the shopping.  When we finally bulldozed our way to a checkout line, I was quickly made aware of the reason for the abrupt sense of calm amongst my otherwise rowdy twins.  Much to my surprise and to the utter horror of the cashier, my twins had been removing price tags throughout the entire store and covering the whole front end of our car cart.  The cashier was livid and proceeded to give my kids a lecture, which was obviously intended for me.  The woman in line behind me was laughing hysterically under her breath, and I have to say, I was kind of on the verge of  giggles myself.  I mean, come on!  What harm did my kids REALLY cause?  So the store would have to replace some price tags — big deal!  At least nothing was damaged or broken, and more importantly, at least I was able to finish my shopping!  Just to be on the safe side, though, I ended up switching grocery stores after that because I wasn’t sure if my face was plastered on their latest “Wanted” poster.  I don’t need someone giving me the old crook eye while I’m picking out my apples….



5 Responses

  1. that is too hilarious. I too loathe grocery shopping, and even though I live two blocks from the grocery store, I often have my husband swing by on his way home from work than me go during the day.

  2. Hysterical … I think you were channeling me when you wrote this! I, too, do everything humanly possible to leave the kids at home.

    I saw a woman at the store a few weeks ago with a BOX on her grocery cart that contained every coupon known to man organized by category and then by brand. Seriously like an entire box of coupons. Crazy organziation!

    • “Carrie” — Good God, a box??!! That is someone who has WAY too much time on her hands! I can’t even remember to pull out my $15 worth of free groceries coupon from my wallet — it’s probably expired by now!

  3. Oh that’s funny! Ever try letting them pick out a cheap toy or something to eat while shopping with you? It worked for my mom whenever she had to take my brother along. She gave him a box of animal crackers to occupy himself. And the food or toy thing worked on my daughter, and now seems to also work on my nephew. Yeah, it’s a bribe, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

    • Trust me — I’ve tried it all & the best solution I’ve come up with is to shop solo! 🙂

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