My Rocky Road to Mamaville

2005-12-12

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I can’t help but think about my journey to mamahood.  It was an extremely long and painful process for me, full of fertility treatments and heartache. When I finally became pregnant,  I was insane with worry.  I was maniacal about what I ate and what I did.  I didn’t want to do anything to possibly jeopardize the health of my babies. When the babies were finally born, we couldn’t believe the size of them — I’m a petite person, so to deliver a 7.5 pound and a 6.5 pound baby was a helluva shock to the system, literally!  (Guess I was one high-powered oven!)  Since the babies were so large, though, I had difficulty delivering all the placenta.  I ended up losing over half my blood supply, which resulted in the need for two blood transfusions in a very short amount of time. I looked like Rocky Balboa with my swollen eyes and lips, but I was beyond happy to finally meet my babies three hours later. The doctors felt pretty confident that they had removed all the placenta and sent a very anemic me home with the twins two days later.   As it turned out, though, the doctors did not get all the placenta, and two weeks later, I was rushed back into the emergency room with a deadly blood infection.  I was told that I had to have an emergency hysterectomy (at the ripe old age of 31!).  I could not believe my ears — it had taken me three years of agony to create these kids and now they were gonna take away my chances of having more?  I wanted to scream! But, when they told me that death was quite possibly the alternative, I quickly realized that I had to do this for my new little babies.  I wanted to be their mama more than anything in this world.  The surgery was successful, and luckily, they were able to leave my ovaries so that I wouldn’t go straight into menopause.  (And it’s great now because I no longer have to visit the tampon aisle in the grocery store — definitely an added bonus!)  Afterwards, everyone was so worried about my mental state, having to cope with forever losing my ability to have more kids.  However, I am a super firm believer that everything happens for a reason — why else would I have had a boy AND a girl in one fell swoop? Regardless of all the drama, I felt so blessed to have not only one healthy baby but two!  Through my darkest days of infertility, I could never have imagined that I would finally be so lucky.  I can fully understand, respect and appreciate that mamahood is not for everyone, but for me, I can’t picture my life any other way.

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3 Responses

  1. I have missed reading all about your capers! I’ve been so busy lately that there was no time for chuckling. Thanks for the heart-warming story. So glad that 6 yrs later, you & your babies are well & healthy (with the exception of the vomiting)

    • “Jasmine” — thank you & so glad you’re back to catch up — you know there aren’t too many dull moments around here in my world! Hope you have a great Mother’s Day! 🙂

  2. That’s a crazy, amazing story. Congratulations. ANd thanks for sharing. Puts motherhood into perspective.

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