Public Bathrooms/Public Humiliation


Have you ever thought about how awful it would be if there was a really obnoxious announcer in the stall with you at a public bathroom giving a play-by-play account of your toilet tasks?  Well, welcome to my world! Every single time I have to take my kids with me to answer the call of nature in a public place, this is what they do to me.  As is common with most women, I do the old “squat and pee.”  Sometimes, my aim is a bit off and, well, there might just be some sprinkling involved.  My kids have a hay day with this, shouting, “Look, Mommy! You peed on the seat!”  Now, if you’ve read my past blog entries, you know my policy (if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie).  Of course, I have every intention of carrying out this policy, but the rest of the bathroom crowd does not know this about me, and it doesn’t make me look too good, now does it?  My kids also do not hesitate to loudly identify any unpleasant smells coming from the stalls next to mine.  They’ll shriek, “OH, GROSSSSS! SOMEBODY’S POOPING!”  Now, most people don’t like to poop and tell, so I feel for the person who is, in fact, responsible for the polluted air. But, with kids, there is just absolutely no filter on the words that come out of their mouths.  I’ve thought about stashing a brown paper bag in my purse so that I can just slip it over my head when I have to drag the kids into a public pit-stop with me.  That way, I could just save myself the humiliation of walking out and facing the music after conducting business.  However, as is the case with almost every aspect of parenting, it’s easier to just laugh it off and hold my head up high — or at least try not to make eye contact with anybody on the way out….


5 Responses

  1. LOL! That was just too funny. Yes, kids will embarass you. Thanks for the Friday chuckle. 😎

  2. Yes, they most certainly do, don’t they? They gave a very loud and very detailed description of my bare ass in the public bathroom at the park district today — such a great ending to my week…. 🙂

  3. I noticed that this is not the first time you write about this topic. Why have you chosen it again?

  4. Hi, interesting post. I have been pondering this topic,so thanks for writing. I’ll probably be subscribing to your site. Keep up the good posts

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