So it seems that my children are WAY more technologically advanced than their mother. In fact, when I got my first iPhone, they were the ones who taught me how to take pictures with the damn thing. What can I say — gadgets are just REALLY not my strong suit. And naturally, as is the case with pretty much everything in my nucking futty world, my lack of technological knowledge has come back to kick me in the pooper, a fact which I discovered after allowing my little whiz kids to play with an old iPhone of their dad’s.
Since my husband is an electronics whore (sorry, Honey, but you totally are), he has a deep-rooted desire to have to have the latest, greatest doohickey on the market. So, needless to say, we just so happen to have a few extra outdated iPhones lying around our house. Now, granted, they have no SIM cards in them, but they still have some jackass games and whatnot on them, making them oh-so-appealing to our high-tech hungry kids. And, unfortunately for us, the feature they found most entertaining was the freaking clock app.
Now why in the hell Apple thought it was a good idea to have SUCH obnoxious frickin’ alarm tones available is beyond me, but wouldn’t ya know that my offspring managed to find every last flippin’ one of them. And much to my surprise, they somehow figured out how to set these unbelievably annoying alarm tones to go off at all ungodly hours of the night. Imagine waking up at 3 a.m. to the blaring sounds of a red alert. I swear I thought aliens were attacking, and we were being forced to evacuate the mother ship. Let me just tell ya, it was most certainly NOT a pleasant way to be yanked out of a peaceful slumber. And would you believe that this happened not once but two times in a row??!! Having the beejesus scared out of you on more than one occasion is just too much for one person to bear. So I put the lockdown on any alarm settings from here on out.
And after doing some reflective thinking, I realize that clearly, I need to stop underestimating the power of seven-year-olds. (Seriously, when the hell did kids get to be so smart?) The next thing I know, they’re gonna be surfin’ porn and gambling with degenerates online. I guess it’s time for me to really step up my game….