Did I Say That?

There are many phrases that instantaneously fly out of my mouth at this point in my life that I never ever thought I’d hear.  And yeah, I blame it ALL on parenting.  Cause kids?  They just constantly do weird shit.  Here are just a few of the ridiculous words that I’ve uttered over the past several years:

“Get that pea out of your nose!”

“Mommy’s boobs are not horns.”

“Don’t shoot your sister.”

“Please keep your hands out of your pants when you’re in the outfield.”

“Don’t pick your nose.”

“You won’t have any friends if you eat your boogers.”

“Do not ride the dog.”

” Shoes go on your feet, not the kitchen table.”

“Go to sleep or you’ll be short forever.”

“Plastic bags don’t go on your head.”

“Please don’t put your socks in the flower pots.”

“We do not eat bananas when we’re taking a poo.”

“Do not wear Mommy’s bra on your head.”

“No, rocks do NOT belong in the bathtub.”

“It’s not polite to spit at the neighbors.”

“Yes, you have to wear pants to the birthday party.”

“Mommy will go to jail if you don’t go to school.”

“Do not eat your toothpaste.”

“M&M’s are not a breakfast food.”

“We color on the paper, not on the wall.”

“Dead cicadas do not go in Mommy’s purse.”

“Do not suck on nickels.”

** WHAT ARE SOME OF THE CRAZY WORDS THAT HAVE COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH???? **

Time Flies When You’re Having Fun

It is so hard for me to believe, but my babies turned six today. Where in the world did the time go???  I admit that I don’t really miss the baby stage, but I have to say that I have absolutely LOVED the age of five.  It is, by far, my favorite age.  Over this past year, I have simply adored the zillions of comments that have literally made me laugh out loud till my belly hurts. The wheels in their little heads seem to be constantly in motion, questioning anything and everything that comes their way.  Now, I’ll be the first to admit that many of these interrogations have led me to seek sanity in more than one glass of vino, but I love that they are completely fascinated by EVERYTHING around them. Wouldn’t life be so much more interesting if, as adults, we also took an interest in ALL of our surroundings?  All we do is bitch and moan and hope for the next day to hurry up and get here. Kids just live in the moment and seem to be all the more happy for it.  It is such a bittersweet feeling for me to know that we are entering yet another year of growth and change.   I’m so afraid that with each passing year, they will decide that it’s not such a cool thing to hug me and hold my hand.  So, in the meantime, I plan to hold on dearly for life to moments like today when each one of my kids whispered separately in my ear, “Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever, Mommy!”  Little do they know, that they’ve given ME the best of EVERYTHING with each year that I’ve been lucky enough to be Mommy to them, the absolute coolest little kids one could ever know.