So Much For Relaxing….

     I am a runner.  Many of my friends think I’m crazy for WANTING to get out there and pound mile after mile of pavement, but I absolutely love it.  It is like therapy for me — I can listen to whatever music I want, and I can process a million different thoughts in my head, all without someone needing or wanting something from me.  It’s just me and the sidewalk.  I’ve run several half marathons, and I’m very proud to say that I ran my first full marathon last year.  I’m currently training for another half marathon in August and had to put in an eleven mile run yesterday.  At the end of the run, my back was aching and my dogs were barking — all I wanted to do was veg out in our jacuzzi tub and relax.  I felt like I had most definitely earned it.

     It must be noted, however, that I HARDLY EVER use our jacuzzi tub. It is a major pain in the ass to clean, and I don’t ever even have time to take a long shower, let alone soak in a tub.  So, I guess you could say I’m a bit rusty when it comes to the whirlpool tub department.  I thought I was being super organized, though, in getting everything just right for my relaxation party. While the tub was filling up with hot water, I turned on some relaxing music, lit a pleasant-smelling candle, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and strategically placed both my book and my towel within arm’s reach.  One very important thing I forgot to do, though, was to check the positioning of the jacuzzi jets.  Big mistake.

     I was finally ready to climb into my tub full of bliss, so I pushed the “on” button for the jets.  I was immediately blasted with a huge spray of water straight to the face.  I rubbed the water out of my eyes just in time to see the other jets shooting straight up to the ceiling. Water was streaming down from the walls and creating a huge pool all around the tile ledge.  My book, towel, and Ipod were all floating on the tub deck, and my candle was instantly put out by the shower of water coming from the ceiling.  I pushed the “off” button as quickly as I could, but those damn jets had already worked their magic.  I then proceeded to grab a bunch of towels from the linen closet to try to soak up the mess.  I had to dry the walls, the windows, the ledge, and the floor. And did I mention that I was naked? Nothing like cleaning your walls in your birthday suit after an eleven mile run.  Yes, so much for relaxing!

     I don’t think I’ll be using that stupid jacuzzi tub again any time soon. But, if and when I do, you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be making sure those damn jets are pointed DOWN.  I have enough messes to clean up here as it is.  So, if you’ll excuse me now, I’m going to go pamper my tired muscles with a good old-fashioned heating pad and avoid the whole water-themed relaxation alternative altogether….

Goodness Gracious, Grape Balls of Puke

Well, there’s nothing quite like catching multiple bouts of puke to celebrate a 13.1 mile run!  If you read my last post, you know that I ran an out of town half marathon on Saturday while my husband and kids went camping. On the car ride home yesterday, my calves and quads were really reading me the riot act for putting them through such torture.  They, of course, were not alone in their moaning and groaning because they had some pretty stiff competition from a couple of six year olds in the back seat.  My twins were full of complaints about everything under the sun — they were hungry, tired, bored, etc.  My son, in particular, was a pure bundle of joy, refusing to eat the cheeseburger I’d bought him for lunch and insisting on a great big bag of grapes instead.  Now granted, grapes are certainly a much healthier alternative to a greasy burger, but in retrospect, it probably wasn’t the best idea for him to gorge himself on the entire gallon-size bag within just a few minutes time.  Needless to say, his car sickness kicked in, and he proceeded to spew grape chunks all over the car.  I tried my damnedest to catch what I could with my hands.  I was completely twisted around in the car, feeling every single tired muscle in my body cussing me out for once again inflicting pain and suffering upon them.  This lovely little puke parade happened not only once but twice on the ride home.  The second time, I even had the luxury of it splattering on my sunglasses and in my hair.  I wondered how many of the other 35,000 runners were having as much fun as I was.  Some of them got a trophy for their hard work and efforts…I just got a handful of grape juice and stomach acid!