I gotta tip my hat and bow down to all the single mamas/papas out there. That, my friends, is no easy task and should be rewarded with high-fives, knuckle-bumps, and all-expenses paid vacations. I honestly don’t know how on earth you do it without absolutely cracking the eff up. I have only done it for short bursts of time and inevitably feel like I need a straight jacket to contain my temptation to go absolutely medieval on everyone around me.
Since my husband had to travel for business the past couple of nights, the shit naturally decided it was time to hit the fan. First off, my son had the amazing wherewithall to come down with a blazing ear infection. The poor kid was literally up all night on Monday night with ear pain, so the whole week got off to a big whopping sleep-deprived bang. Then, the dog decided to take four steps back, even though we’d taken three steps forward, and wake up crying multiple times in the night. (Have I ever told you how much I LOVE being woken up in the night to search for dog shit with a flashlight?!) Then, to top it all off, my daughter must’ve felt left out, because she, too, felt the need to contract an ear infection to keep up with her brother. After two trips to the doctor and two trips to the pharmacy, we are more than good to go up in here, thank you very much.
And as a result, this mama here is at the absolute end of her limit. My patience is non-existent and my attention span parallels that of a two year old. So, it is probably pretty apparent how well multiple rounds of jack assinine questioning is going to go over with my walking time-bomb of a brain. Kids, even if I knew how many flippin’ springs were in my running shoes, what car tires were made of, or how fast my bike could go down a hill, I’m not sure I’d even have the energy to tell you. In addition, I honestly must’ve heard my son mutter the word “Mommy” no less than four hundred times last night. I was seriously contemplating changing my name to Queenie or even Bob just for a change of freaking pace. As much as I tried, I was completely unable to go to my happy place. I seemed to be stuck indefinitely in Crazy Town. I promised myself as I was going to sleep last night that I was going to wake up in a better mood and have a good day even if it killed me.
However, the dog taking a big sunrise dump on the rug certainly didn’t get things moving in exactly the direction I had planned. Then, as we were finally walking out the door to head to school, my daughter frantically announced that she had another Math worksheet to do for homework. This just so happened to be the same worksheet that I had asked both kids about multiple times last night, and no one claimed it to be theirs. Since my daughter insisted on doing it, we worked on about half of it and then raced off to school. When I went in to tell her teacher that we didn’t have time to finish it, the teacher looked at me like I had three eyes. Turns out that they didn’t even have homework at all, and that my daughter had actually done my son’s homework. Well, that is just craptabulous. I’ll just add that to the list of other mommy fails that I’ve been accumulating lately.
If the hubs doesn’t get his tush back home soon, I’m gonna be so delirious that I might just be feeding dog food to the kids and Pop Tarts to the dog. I am in survival mode here, people, just flying by the seat of my pants. I couldn’t have a meaningful conversation with anyone right now even if I tried. My brain may be on vacation, but it’s my body that needs the get-away even more.
Filed under: mom blog, mom trying to stay sane blog Tagged: | dog, ear infection, family, homework, kids, moms, motherhood, parenting, pets, pharmacy, school, single parent, sleep deprivation, teacher, twins